what i learned from ABBA and van gogh

During my Euro trip, I was fortunate to visit the ABBA Museum in Stockholm and the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. As I walked through each, I would text myself random thoughts about their stories. Below, you’ll find the random musings turned lessons learned from the iconic pop group from Sweden and one of the greatest artists this planet has seen.

ABBA

1. Failure Doesn’t Mean Stop

After exploring their passions individually, Agnetha, Björn, Benny, and Anni-Frid (Frida) first performed together in 1970 and began releasing records thereafter.

I knew they had caught their break from winning Eurovision and singing their now classic, “Waterloo”. What surprised me was that they failed to qualify for the song contest the previous year (1973). In fact, they finished 3rd in Sweden’s qualifying contest called “Melodifestivalen”. The song they entered “Ring Ring” did nevertheless receive commercial recognition, but failing to qualify for the main event did not stop them from entering the next year.

The next year they entered and won the Eurovision contest with “Waterloo” and the rest was history – having accumulated 400 million albums sold worldwide since.

Failure, like for many others, has been a constant theme in my life with many instances happening in my youth. My association with failure has been that “I’m not enough”. Constant reminders like ABBA’s story or one of my favorite commercials featuring Dwayne Wade (below), are imperative reminders that failure is part of the process. There’s no way you can make every shot you take, but you can’t make it unless you try. And if you miss one, it doesn’t mean you’ll miss the next.

2. Don’t Wait for Inspiration, Just Show Up

Benny and Björn wrote many of ABBA’s records. The setting for their writing frequently took place in the Stockholm archipelago at Björn and Agnetha’s small cottage during the summer holidays. Hits such as “Dancing Queen” and “Fernando” sprung from these sessions. Each morning, the sound of Benny playing the piano was Björn’s signal that it was time to work. Every day they would repeat this ritual for about six hours regardless of their mood or creative spark.

Benny described showing up by stating,

Whatever craft you are trying to hone, or skill you want to build, you can’t only work on it during the days where you are highly motivated or in the ideal set and setting. When I first began writing, I only wrote when I thought I had something to say and was in the ideal mindset. The subtle shift of just ‘showing up’ and starting with a sentence has made a significant impact in getting better. You’d be surprised by the momentum that can build after writing just one sentence, doing one rep or reading five pages.

3. Written Therapy

Countless records and albums have been created by artists due to break ups. In “Die for Me”, Halsey sings, “I sold fifteen million copies of a break-up note.” For whatever odd reason, I usually chuckle when I hear that lyric. A song that has been a staple on my Spotify Wrapped since 2019.

What I did not realize until the day at the ABBA Museum was that Agnetha and Björn, as well as Frida and Benny, were married at points during the group’s time together. Can’t believe I didn’t know that!

“Winner Takes It All”, one of the band’s most popular tunes, was recorded the same year Agnetha and Björn divorced. Commenting about the song in 2013, Agnetha said,

I started journaling regularly at the top of the year. In a way I took a crawl, walk, run approach to where I am at today. I started with two or three sentences a night before bed. After the breakup, I naturally began spending a lot of time with my journal. The few sentences turned into pages of scribbles as I began to unpack the complete turnaround that my life had just undertaken. I was able to soften the internal fight that was going on in my head by transforming my inside voices onto paper.

The pieces I write here today are merely open journal entries as I not only reflect on the past but look ahead to the future. Every time I finish the puzzle at the end of a post, I tend to feel lighter and learn a tremendous amount about myself, what makes me feel, and why.

I believe ABBA and other creatives are no different in how they interpret their experiences. A record, script, or painting can give a creative an opportunity to process whatever they are going through, achieve a bit of relief, and learn more about their inner self.

Van Gogh

1. Being a 1 of 1 is our Superpower

Van Gogh’s distinctive style was not widely acclaimed during his life time. That did not stop him from producing over 900 paintings. In a way he was skating ahead of the puck. We know today that his refusal to conform made him a trailblazer for the modern art world.

I came to realize that many times in my life I adopted a chameleon personality as a defensive mechanism. A lot of this had to do with growing up in a predominantly white, suburban, community and attending a university in the South. I didn’t even go by my birth name the first 18 years of my life as a way to fit in. Due to my distinctive outward appearance, I habitually sought to blend in with others. Standing out made me feel uncomfortable and took a toll on my self-esteem. Point blank, I was not comfortable in my own skin.

I’m slowly learning to embrace my uniqueness, whether that’s how I look at myself in the mirror or my personal believes on a topic. I am a one of one. In fact, we all are.

Van Gogh and others are a reminder to embrace our differences. Showing up as your authentic self is your superpower.

2. The Importance of Your Team

Van Gogh’s relationship with his brother was vital throughout his life. Van Gogh struggled with mental health, but his brother, Theo, was there for him during his darkest days. Theo’s financial and emotional assistance, coupled with his profound belief in Van Gogh’s talents, reminds us of the importance that support systems can have on one’s life and pursuits.

In my current state, it would be harder to put one foot in front of the other without the support system of my friends and family. Throughout the past few months, my friends would frequently text or FaceTime me, even 10,000 miles away, checking in to see how I was doing. Little did they know that two minute text exchange or five minute conversation has slowly helped to alleviate the pain I feel in my heart.

My parents and sister have been there every step of the way as well. I am fortunate enough to have their space as home base as I navigate the next chapter in my life. They’ve sat and listened to me for countless hours as I’ve been working through whatever the hell is going on in my mind.

On the morning of my 30th birthday, I was ridding high, I thought, after finishing up a sunrise 5k and gearing up for a weekend with my closest friends in Florida for Memorial Day Weekend. Before departing, I sat in my parent’s dining room to open cards and blow out my birthday candles. As they finished singing “Happy Birthday”, I burst out into tears. I had become accustomed to another’s voice in the room during such celebrations, and in that moment, I felt a profound void in my heart. Within seconds, I could feel the embrace of my mother and sister as I sat there in their arms. In that moment, that hole was filled with unconditional love.

I am immensely grateful for my support system because without them I know I would be walking down a different, and darker path today. Thank you, team.

3. Magic in the Mundane

Van Gogh had an aptitude for transforming ordinary subjects into extraordinary works. From a simple bedroom to sunflowers, his ability to find magic in the mundane serves as a reminder of the meaning and joy we can find in the most ordinary moments.

I frequently walk the same 2 mile-loop in my parent’s neighborhood prior to sunset. Each time I see or hear something new. Whether it’s seeing a dawn running through the woods or listening to the chatter of our feathered friends in the trees, this connection has helped me find solace in nature and appreciate what previously would feel like the same, boring walk. Note to self, leave the headphones at home sometimes.

The Van Gogh Museum ended with a gratitude exhibit. Van Gogh took his own life and this exhibit gave visitors the opportunity to write down what they are grateful for and hang it on the wall prior to their exit. I wrote,

In conclusion, it has been truly inspiring, there’s that word again, to learn more about creatives during my travels this year. Upon reflection, it’s clear there’s through lines that led to their greatness. However, it’s equally clear that each one had their own unique path, which encourages me to look forward to where mine takes me next.